Saturday, August 11, 2012

6 months now since my move

It has been a little over 6 months since we uprooted ourselves from a northern suburb of Minneapolis, MN and moved to a small town near the border of Idaho, in Utah. We made this move to be closer to family, after my mom's diagnosis of frontotemporal dementia (at age 62!)

My company has allowed me to work remote, so besides the drastic change in scenery and culture, there has been a drastic change in my work habits. I don't have to commute 25 miles to get to work anymore. I get up, do my morning chores, get ready for work, and sit down in my home office. I still am able to do all my responsibilities and in some ways I am more effective than I was in person. Less distraction, more focus.

But it is still a big change. Every morning before I left for work I would log onto to read the headlines. When I first moved out here, I still did that. I needed to keep in touch with that life I just left. I followed the news stories as if I were still there. Now, 6 months later, I log onto the Star Tribune maybe a couple times a month.

I also listened to K102 on the radio exclusively. In fact, I didn't even know any other stations out there in Minnesota. So, I listened via computer here on so I could still hear the familiar DJs and the morning show. Within a month or so that dwindled, until I no longer listen to them anymore.

I realize how life changes, gradually. I don't consider myself a complete Utahn yet. I still spent the majority of my life, including my birth and all my childhood, in the San Francisco Bay Area, so I really still consider myself a Californian. 27 years is still a long time. I was only in Minnesota for 10 years.

But it scares me just a little bit how the past is slipping away from me. I am making new daily habits, new friends, and am doing new things.

And, I am thankful for Facebook so that I can keep in contact with my friends from MN. Even though we may not talk every day, I can read their status updates and they can read mine, and we know what is going on in each others lives.

But, the best (and hardest) part is I get to see my family more. Hard because I see my mom mentally declining, when she was sharp as a tack my whole life. After spending an afternoon with her I am so emotionally drained and depressed. It is so hard to see this unfolding, not knowing how quickly or how slowly it is going to progress, not knowing what we will do a month from now, a year from now... etc.

I do enjoy being able to see my siblings, and I love the area we are renting in. I love the ducks, especially the newborn babies, and I love being able to garden and grow things. The sun sure shines down on us here, and the plants just love to grow. I love the mountains, and the weather. (did I just admit that?) I feel healthier out here than I did in Minnesota. Maybe it is because I am now able to find time to go to the gym to take classes and work out. Maybe it is because I am near family, and that usually helps lessen stress. Maybe it is because I am growing a lot more food, or have more time to cook meals from scratch instead of eating out all the time. But whatever it is, I am grateful that amongst the added burdens that have been placed upon my shoulders, I also have been given additional blessings to compensate.

I don't know what the future will bring. But I will have faith that it is where I am supposed to go. 

Posted via email from rhauptman's posterous

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